Though his usual pen name is reminiscent of a gentle sigh…

his pen itself – and his axe – are as sharp as his wit.

The IFC’s very own Raphael Murillo has got to work producing the co-op’s first Literature of Quality. Below is the first of the five chapters he has produced thus far:

The Not Particularly Ingenious Gentleman Raphael Murillo; or, Why You Should Read Good Literature Like Don Quixote Instead of Lord of the Rings

Chapter I – Which Treats the Character and Pursuits of the Infamous Gentleman Raphael Murillo

In a University in New Jersey, the name of which I have no desire to call to mind, there studied one of those gentlemen that keep strange roommates and a collection of far too many books. An olla of rather more beef than mutton, a salad on most nights, scraps on Saturdays, lentils on Fridays, and Korean Beef on Sundays, made away with seven hundred dollars of his income; the books made away with thousands more.

The age of this gentleman of ours was twenty-one; he was of a hardy habit, spare, gaunt-featured, a relatively early riser and a mediocre sportsman. He became so absorbed in his books and studies that he spent his nights from sunset to sunrise, and his days from dawn to dark, poring over them; and what with little sleep and much reading his brains got so dry that he lost his wits.

In short, he hit upon the strangest notion that ever madman in this world hit upon, and that was that he fancied it was right and requisite, as well for the support of his own honor, that he should make a knight-errant of himself; criticizing every kind of thing right or wrong, writing weird comments, and exposing himself to shames from which, in prior issues, he reaped no amount of renown or fame. Already the poor man saw that he had written 40 pages about the Empire of Trebizond; and so, led away by pleasant fancies, he set himself forthwith to put a scheme into execution: to make bizarre dinner conversation with President Tilghman.

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